The Burden of being a Black Hole
What’s your role in your family? When I was 11, my godfather took me outside for a nighttime talk. In the cool autumn darkness, he unimpromptu unloaded built-up complaints and childhood traumas onto me. I nodded and tried my best to fake short understandings and agreeing replies, waiting for the moment I could go back inside. He thanked me for being strong, listening, and told me, “You are the glue holding your family together.” In middle school, my family went through some rough times and was constantly in a state of discord, anxiety, and fear. Perhaps being the middle child is what got me stuck in the middle of everything, and that’s how I became everyone’s therapist. Or maybe because in emotionally heated situations, I was the least reactive, making me the optimal outlet. Either way, my role in the family was a black hole for everyone’s troubles, and I thought of myself as a central support propping up my family that was crumbling around me. My godfather gave...